Say What?

A co-teacher said something today in English, but I thought he was speaking in Thai. Man, I don't think I even realize all the transitions I am going through right now.

The Hit

Many people say grieving is a process. You won't show it when you are expected to show sadness-like at the airport, or the funeral, or on the blog. :) Yet when least expected, triggered by stressors that no one can expect or prevent, a faucet of tears is turned on. There was a tragedy that involved people at my school recently. The counselors explained grief like this.

I identified with their words because, yesterday, I felt like I'd been hit. Did anything bad happen? Not really, other than my car phone charger breaking. It was just all of life coming at me at the same time and I could no longer turn away. Kinda like when those speeding cars are chasing people in the movies. The people are running from them, but they keep running straight-forward. You know they won't outrun the car. Why don't they turn to the right or left and dodge it? I guess the answer is, they no longer have that ability, choice, reflex??

I am up again though. I had to be for my first day of school as a 5th grade teacher again. But I do expect more of these hits as I work my way through life.

Blue and Green

I have a Ukrainian in my class. She is so proud of her heritage that it makes me smile. In an attempt to make her feel understood, I told her I knew what the Ukrainian flag looked like, being two rectangles, one blue and one yellow. (I think it is a beautiful flag.) She smiled and asked if I knew the symbolism of the colors. With my "no", she went on to explain that the blue on the top is the sky and the yellow on the bottom is wheat. What a beautiful image.

Thinking about the Thailand, I remarked that the country would be blue and green. Blue for the sky and green for the rice fields. I love multiculturalism.

Barefoot and Teaching

That's how it used to be. Walk indoors. Take off your shoes. I walked into school today. I didn't take off my shoes. Just one small analogy for all the differences which are both normal for me but also distinctly different.

Missionaries always say grocery stores are big shockers for them upon returning from overseas. "The number of different kinds of potato chips", some say. Well, for me, it was that a bell pepper was cheaper than a cucumber. It was that with a "special saver" card, I could get a dollar off a vegetable. A dollar! I could buy a whole meal with a dollar in my old neighborhood.

I know...I know life would feel like this. But it is feeling like this. And I need to tell/share so all of you know it's not all easy coming back. But it is where the pillar moved and I did enjoy teaching today. But my heart also aches too.

Homesickness Begins with Food

What do you think of that idea? Today as I hung out with my friend who also just came back from serving in Asia, I realized I hadn't eaten one of my favorite dishes in Thailand before I left! (Yam Woon Sen with Mama noodles) Oh the horror! Then my friend started naming the foods she missed including the noodles. We had to stop ourselves before we missed Asia too much.

I do miss Thailand. Today I did miss the food. But I must confess that I have missed the people since before I even told them goodbye. I miss them all. The processing of this life transition will take a long time. Most of the processing hasn't even taken place yet. I just keep saying I'm so TIRED! I will continue giving myself grace to be tired.

By the way, today I did become an official employee of the local public school system here. I explored six possible rental properties, finding one particularly appealing. And I visited my school where I began preparing to be my class's new fifth grade teacher on Monday. Wooh! I'm TIRED!

De-Briefed

I made my last visit to the Mission to the World office this week. I talked and talked and talked to people about my time in Thailand, how I'm doing now, and what to expect with this transition. All good conversations. I psyched a few people out because of my haircut too. They didn't know who I was.

Right now, I feel like I have narcolepsy. All I feel like all I'm doing is sleeping. But I've had quite a six-week period, so I'm still on recovery. I am preparing for school to start soon. Tomorrow I head in to start hearing about my students and preparing lesson plans, etc.

My first five days back felt full of euphoria to be back. Anxiety just set in a bit yesterday. I tend to have dreams where I'm being chased when I feel anxious. Last night, a giant red, white, and yellow worm from China was attacking me in my family house. I was bitten on my left hand. My brother did somehow make him go outside and closed the door on him so he couldn't come back in.

There's a summary of Currie without the Thai. I did eat some Thai rice from my friend Yu's rice field tonight. So I don't think I'll ever stop being "Thai Currie". Thanks for your prayers. I am trying to keep you all updated.

A Change? Just a hair...

To go along with all the other changes in my life now, I cut my hair....SHORT! I have always wanted to. Plus, I've been on a mission to get all that crazy color drama done that started when I dyed my hair Asian Black. Cutting it this short returns me to my normal color. And it's fun. But it doesn't help with how cold I feel moving away from the Thailand climate! Anyway, I wanted to share!!!

Hermit Day

I know I promised that the blog would be a good place to "check in on me" still. How am I doing? Right now, I'm not thinking much farther than sleep, eat, sleep. :) It's day 3 of being back in the US. Why do I have these insane expectations of myself? I just now realized it's only day 3? I feel like it's definitely been like a whole week already. Each day involves so much.

Today was officially Hermit Day, named by a friend of mine who I had to reschedule with so I could be a hermit today. I haven't had a day like this in a few weeks. I needed a Sabbath Day in which I am a hermit. I did nothing but wander around the beautiful mountains, watch TV, sleep, and eat. And in that, God gave me rest in him. (I almost wrote, "rest from him". Haha, no.) God gave me reassuring words that He loves me and will take care of me. Now that is a good Hermit Day.

Back to the US

Well, in the last three days, I have...

-spent 24 hours on a plane. No complaints, smooth flights.
-talked to some fun Russian folks on the plane.
-stayed at my parents' house, had dinner with them and my brother's family.
-played with my niece and nephew.
-slept some and started experiencing the afternoon lull of jetlag.
-rented a car.
-driven to Asheville.
-met 16 of my 22 future students and their family members at "Meet the Teacher" day.
-caught up with all my friends at my former school where I am now going to be a fifth grader teacher starting Aug 29.
-moved my entire life full of suitcases from Charlotte into a rental car and then to guestroom at my friends' house in Asheville.
-ate rice that smelled more like popcorn that jasmine (which is how Thai rice smells).

New Favorite Color....

...Rice-Field-Green!

FYI: Heading for the airport in a couple hours.

Surprise?

Sorry for the surprise of the previous post. I do want to update you on my trip to my friend's hometown, but this was more important. (I have gotten back safely from that trip and had a great memorable time.) As you can read, I'm leaving August 15th. That's tomorrow! I couldn't post it on blog until my faithful prayer and financial supporters could receive their letters of notification first. Blessings to you all for your faithful reading and prayers.

The Pillar is Moving

GOD IS REDIRECTING ME

The Lord went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead them along the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, that they might travel by day and by night. (Exodus 13:21)

God guided the people of Israel to know he wanted them to remain where they were and when he wanted them to move on by these pillars.

For a few months now, God has been moving "the pillar" of my heart with a change of calling. I didn't actually know what it would feel like to be called away from missions, yet now I know he is clearly redirecting me away from Thailand and back to live in the U.S. While on break in the U.S. for the month of July, I took time to talk to good friends, mentors, and MTW. With their counsel and God's leading through prayer and his Word, my decision to finish my service in Thailand was confirmed. Surreal as it was, I resigned from my position as a missionary with Mission to the World.

As partners of my financial and prayer support team, I hope you know how much I have loved ministering in Thailand. My change of calling in no way changes my desire to see God changing hearts of the Thai people to know Jesus Christ and grow God's church in that country. During this last term of service there, God has worked mightily. I have had the privilege of answering friends' questions about the existence of God and the purpose of Christ Jesus's death and resurrection. Neighbors have asked for Bibles and small children have learned to depend on prayer when they face difficulties. Our church has grown from a plane by missionaries to a Thai-led growing church. Not only have I seen God's miraculous works in others and our church, but in my own life. I am eternally grateful for how God has used my time of service in Thailand these last four years to mold and refine me to look more like our Lord Jesus in humility, faith in God's power, as well as dependence on prayer.

I returned to Thailand July 31 to say goodbyes and pack, and will return to the U.S. on August 15th. My financial supporters may stop their support at the end of August.

Next Steps for You and Me

Future MTW Ministry in Thailand: God is raising up a new team of missionaries to serve in the community where I have been serving in Thailand. When they arrive this Fall, their roles will be facilitating the Thai leadership in the work of the Thai church there. Many of my teammates will be starting new works over the next couple years in downtown Bangkok and the south of Thailand. God is growing his church! How exciting!

Support: Thank you for your support over the last four years that I have been serving with MTW. You may stop your support for me at the end of August. If you have a desire to continue supporting God's work in Thailand, consider supporting some of my teammates who are raising support now to serve in the same area where I was serving and to start new works. Contact me if you or your church would like to hear more about my ministry or about transferring support.

Me: I have been praying about my next steps in the U.S. At this time, I would like to return to teaching. I will also be returning to live in Asheville, NC and be a member of Trinity Presbyterian Church. Without a new address yet, you can send letters to me in care of my church. I have a temporary telephone number to use for the first few weeks until I get my own number. I will still be writing my blog for a few more months, so you can check in on me there.

Prayer Requests:I have loved your prayers and covet them in this time of transition as well. Please pray the ministries I have in Thailand would close off well and that God would continue working on the hearts of the people I love there.

New Contact Information: leave a comment if you'd like it.

To the Countryside

Leaving for a two-day trip to visit my housemate's hometown and her family in Korat. I am looking forward to meeting her grandmother, her cows, her dogs, and see her rice fields. I have eaten very delicious rice from those fields. I would love your prayers for my energy for this trip as well as that I would be a blessing to my housemate and her family. Thank you!

Portraits at Mahathai

My best friend at Mahathai community, S, is also the photographer of most of these pictures. She was patient enough to walk around the community with me, listening to me talk to everyone, and take pictures. I love her.

S.'s grandmother is so sweet though she is very ill. She always allows me to pray for her and sit with her. I enjoy hearing about her long life and trying to encourage her.

These are my favorite ladies to sit with and talk to in the late afternoon. They take me as I am, which I am so grateful for.

These two gals give the best hugs! Their mom was sweet enough to be in the picture too.

Some of the loves of my life.

My ride home from Mahathai. S. and her mom, L. God is still working in their lives and I'm grateful to see it. Her husband has become a monk for a few months, which is allowing S. and L. more time to come to church.

The ladies in the Napada Handicraft Ministry

If you may remember, G. was in my small group for a while. G. has stopped going to school right now which is tough. The good thing is God has directed her to be part of Napada Handicraft ministries right now. As I stopped by today, I was surprised to hear her practicing some Christian hymns on the guitar. We sat and sang together for a while. What a special moment.

Karma

An old man who was a good friend of mine from the Mahathai community died today. He reminded me a bit of my granddad because he believed in working hard--always reminding me to water the plants in front of the community center. He didn't know Jesus. I remember one conversation we had about Christmas. I tried to explain to him about Jesus. He said that just sounded like all the holidays where they celebrate various monks' birthdays. I thought to myself, "No, that's not it." Those of us that know him are sad and we are trusting God's sovereignty (we being the mercy ministry team).

Reminds me of a conversation I listened to yesterday in Mahathai. Two women somehow got onto the subject of death as well. They were talking about how the period of suffering before death all depends on your karma. Karma being the credit of good and bad deeds you have on earth (both in this life and the last). I sat there amazed I was hearing it. I have shared with them about Jesus. God is still working but these beliefs have been instilled in them for many, many years.

Life here is definitely different. God is here too, and he's been here long before I got here. And he IS working.

Gave a Bible

A good friend of mine accepted a Bible from me tonight. He's very amazing at his English skills so I gave him one of my Thai/English Bibles. I've encouraged him to ask God questions. God doesn't mind. David asked lots. I told him God even criticized one church for being "lukewarm". We should ask questions to know what we believe. I'm so curious and very excited to hear what he thinks of this very large book. He asked me how big it was first. :) Please pray for him, that he will venture into this book and find in it, his answers.

The Art of Bargaining

I have finally mastered the skill! Oh, the many years I have struggled through buying things knowing that I'll have to begin the process of negotiating a price. I've always felt, though this is culturally a wrong perspective, that bartering is deceitful. Both the buyer and the seller are trying to psych the other person out. The seller acts like his merchandise is one of a kind and he cannot discount anymore because this is already the "special price." He knows the buyer has more money than him, so why not get it out of her. The seller of course does have the money, yet she is trying to get the object of her affection for a price closer to actuality. Why can't everyone just be honest?

Yet, around the world, the practice happens. It is well-accepted and culturally appropriate almost everywhere. I've just always been bad at it. I do NOT have a poker face, which is required for this practice. UNTIL NOW. Today, I did well. Was it that after being in this place for three years, I have more of an idea of how much things really are worth? Was it that the language skills have helped? Was it my winsomeness that won them over or were they just easy? Who knows. But, I walked up to those sellers. I started at half the price. I spoke in Thai, told them what I did, how long I've lived here, offered a price, and then paused for their answer. And I got what I asked for. Victory is mine! :)

Facts about Your Celebrities

Harry Potter can speak Thai. I witnessed it in a theater this evening.

Elvis Presley lives in Bangkok. I spotted him smoking a cigarette and walking down Sukhumvit Road this morning.

Jackie Chan and I are a great couple. We took a picture together at the mall this afternoon. He was a bit waxy though.

Sorry, all pictures of the actors were confiscated due to my supreme photography skills.

Hebrews at Napada

I'm laughing at my own subject line! No, we didn't have any people from Israel visit the Napada Handicraft Ministry. I was however able to go during the small group bible study on Wednesday. Six women with Kieow leading all studying the book of Hebrews together. Out of the employees, two are Christian. Yet, they all sat around in a circle studying God's word together. The last question was an application question with one question for Christians and one for non-Christians. One of the non-believers answered beginning with the words, "I'm not yet a Christian, but I think...." Wow! She said "YET!" How exciting.

Later, I told Kieow how much I loved seeing God at work in that group. Kieow said the book of Hebrews has been very good for that group of women because it applies why Jesus Christ is important to their lives NOW. While the Gospels explains it in one way, Hebrews explains how he stands in for our sins in a new way that Kieow finds helps everyone understand more. Praise God!

Of course, you can read more about this ministry/business by clicking the link on the right column.

Bread?

Two new women were working as cashiers at my local 7-Eleven tonight. I came in with my other American friend and they grinned that grin that says, "You are a foreigner. It's so nice to see one." I grinned back that grin that says, "Yes, I am a foreigner, and it's nice to be grinned at" and giggled. Then guess what they did? They offered me some pastries that were being sold at the counter, "Would you like some bread?"

Ok, this may sound like a normal, generous exchange in the US. But here, many folks think we foreigners only eat bread. So, if they have bread, they should offer it to us. I laughed and said no thanks. I had just eaten curry (my namesake).

Back in Bangkok

I have made it back safely. Thanks for your prayers. I didn't sleep much on the flight. But I did sleep in the Tokyo airport on some chairs. I woke up every so often to be sure I hadn't missed my flight. :) Once on the last plane from Tokyo to Bangkok, I was sitting beside a Japanese guy and beside him, a Canadian guy. It was the Japanese guy's first flight ever! He was pretty funny. Everything seemed new to him and he was excited to practice his English with us. I ordered a Sprite from the stewardess as she came by. He wanted one too, and said he'd never tasted one before! Then later, I got black tea. He wanted some of that too, because he had never tasted it before. We had a good time talking, and he memoralized our time with a photo of the three of us on the moving sidewalk at the Bangkok airport. Glad to have those nice people to make the trip a little better.

I feel very jetlagged, but I will recover. Got plans to hang out with my housemates today and go to Starbucks together since it's their day off.